Another gem from the brilliant writers at The Onion, America’s Finest New Source. Follow the link below for more uproarious articles and videos.

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THE HEAVENS—Saying that He definitely knew the event was scheduled for some point within the vast expanse of time, the Lord God Almighty told reporters Wednesday that He was unable to remember exactly what year humanity goes extinct. “Dammit, when are they supposed to die off again?” The Divine Creator asked Himself, adding that He could swear it was in 2016 or 3016, but expressed frustration at His inability to recall the precise date the entirety of mankind is supposed to be purged from the Earth. “Maybe it was 1995. I don’t know—my gut is telling me it’s in the next century, but pretty much all of these dates feel familiar now. Shit, I hope I didn’t miss it.” At press time, sources confirmed that the deity had scrapped all former plans and just slated the mass extinction for early next week.

Source: The Onion.  God Unable To Remember What Year Humanity Goes Extinct

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Erin MacMichael is a science fantasy author and artist, creator of the T'nari Renegades series of novellas, novels, covers, and artwork. Her lifelong quest has been to explore past the boundaries of conventional thinking and figure out what really has transpired on this planet. She has traveled extensively throughout the world and lives in the Pacific Northwest with her marvelous offspring.

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Another gem from the brilliant writers at The Onion, America’s Finest New Source. Follow the link below for more uproarious articles and videos.

——————————

THE HEAVENS—Saying that He definitely knew the event was scheduled for some point within the vast expanse of time, the Lord God Almighty told reporters Wednesday that He was unable to remember exactly what year humanity goes extinct. “Dammit, when are they supposed to die off again?” The Divine Creator asked Himself, adding that He could swear it was in 2016 or 3016, but expressed frustration at His inability to recall the precise date the entirety of mankind is supposed to be purged from the Earth. “Maybe it was 1995. I don’t know—my gut is telling me it’s in the next century, but pretty much all of these dates feel familiar now. Shit, I hope I didn’t miss it.” At press time, sources confirmed that the deity had scrapped all former plans and just slated the mass extinction for early next week.

Source: The Onion.  God Unable To Remember What Year Humanity Goes Extinct

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Erin MacMichael is a science fantasy author and artist, creator of the T'nari Renegades series of novellas, novels, covers, and artwork. Her lifelong quest has been to explore past the boundaries of conventional thinking and figure out what really has transpired on this planet. She has traveled extensively throughout the world and lives in the Pacific Northwest with her marvelous offspring.

0 Comments

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Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *